Curve Ball.

I've been missing from the blog world for some time. In that time a lot has changed. Life has changed. I'm learning tough lessons, sometimes more than I want to learn. I've had tears. I've had joy. As a matter of fact, over the last month I've probably experienced every emotion.

As many of you know, Josh and I were not supposed to be able to have children. This was one of the many reasons we were pursuing adoption.  We went to Haiti and fell in absolute love with Ruth and Naomi. We prayed and prayed and we really felt God had laid this on our hearts. We were ready to do everything possible because we knew it would be an upward battle to bring Ruth and Naomi home. We couldn't do it alone. We were writing letters, making phone calls and then it all came to a sudden halt.

God threw us a curve ball. We had the whole crowd cheering us on and rooting for us. But, just like that it all changed. It couldn't be. Pregnant? No. It's just not possible. It just couldn't be. Us not being able to have kids was the only way to get Ruth and Naomi. Curve ball.

Pregnancy meant a lot of things. One, we could no longer get Ruth and Naomi. Two, my Haiti trip coming up can no longer be. Three, God performed a miracle.

I put these in this order because it's the way I thought of them. God performed a miracle...last. Notice anything wrong? God performed a miracle in Josh and I's life and it was the last thing on my mind. God totally showed up in our lives and it didn't phase me.

Now, don't get me wrong. We are so excited that we're having a baby. We just were not headed in this direction. God had other plans for us. This has really been giving me some grief. I've been tossing around so many questions in my mind. Why did God lay the adoption on our hearts? How does this change our future? Is this really happening? God, can this be? What is going to happen to the girls? God, are you sure you know what you are doing? Are you protecting us against rejection from the Haitian government? What is going on? Some of the questions are ridiculous, I know.

On Tuesday I had a children's event and we watched Soul Surfer. That movie was just for me. Now, I'm not saying that what is happening is a tragedy in my life. In fact, it's the opposite. "It's hard to look at things that are too close." That movie was for me. That quote gave me a new perspective. This is life right now. I have questions. No answers. I'm too close. God has thrown us a curve ball.

I'm learning that sometimes God changes directions; it's not a "rejection"...and it's not always easy.

 

Tonight I should be leaving for Haiti. But, God has changed directions. God has us here for some reason. God knows my heart to change the world. I know that someday this will become a reality. But for now, I trust that the path redirection is for my best, as my Father knows what is best for me.

a dream

I'm not one to get worked up over dreams. In fact, I hardly ever dream at least that I can remember. Except for on Tuesday night. Have you ever had a dream that seems so real that you wake up feeling like you're still in the dream? 

What I can remember is this.

I was looking up at the sky. I was all alone in this open area, but I knew where I was. I was in Haiti. I look at the ground and I'm standing in a muddy area in the middle of this tent village. I look to my right and I see these babies lying in the mud. I instantly scoop them up and take them to grassy land. I clean them somehow and look back. When I look back, I am amazed. I see women with children just flooding to where I was. They're speaking to me, but I can't understand. I do know that they trust me because they are handing me their children left and right. I'm cleaning them up and taking them to grassy land. Doing all that I can do to keep up with all the children. Then I wake up.

When I wake up, it's like I'm still there. Half asleep, I am feeling around for the children. 

Now, like I said, I'm not one to think much of dreams.  But this one has me tore up! What does it mean? Does it mean anything? I just don't know. I go back to sleep and that's that.

I'm reading through Psalms right now. On Wednesday morning, I opened my Bible to this:  

Psalm 10:14b You won't let them down: orphans won't be orphans forever.

Craft.

Josh and I moved. I realized how much stuff we really have! (especially how many clothes I have!) We had this collage frame of engagement pictures from three years ago. I loved this pictures, but I thought it was time to switch things up. 

I began to think about what pictures I could put in this frame. Then it hit me! Haiti! Josh and I LOVE Haiti. We never want to forget about what we experienced and always want to remember the sweet faces we met. Needless to say, Haiti pictures moved their way into our engagement collage.

It wasn't enough for the frame. I wanted something crafty to do with them. Plus, I had a whole Saturday to myself and I was a little bored. So, I came up with this! 

Simple. Crafty. Yes. Love.

Can't wait to go back!

Haiti, I'm coming back!

A team from Fellowship Church is headed to Haiti August 6th-13th! We all met together last night and got to spend time with each other getting ready for our trip. I'm so excited! We have such a great group going. We're doing some fundraising! Here is the list of events

We're selling muffins on Sunday mornings! Look for the "Change for Change" buckets too!

Yard Sale on July 2nd

Tip Night @ Pizza Hut (all tips accumulated will be given to us that night): July 9th

Sonic (25% of total take in from 6-9 p.m. will be given to church):Dates coming!

Texas Roadhouse (10% of total order with flyer will be given to church): July 18th

Puebloʼs (10% of total order with bulletin will be given to church):Every Sunday!

July 10th @ Puebloʼs for Fellowship Fun Night

We're getting so pumped! Please pray for our team! If you feel led to give you can give online to the Haiti Mission Fund. Anything will be greatly appreciated! 

We're coming back to see your sweet faces!

Scrapbooking Haiti

I love to scrapbook. There is nothing better than reliving your favorite memories. You know, it is that good refresher of those memories and feelings. Sometimes it reminds you of people and other times it reminds you of why you do what you do. I've been scrapbooking our Haiti trip. There is nothing better then writing a little tid-bit beside those pictures that mean so much.  My mom, sister, and I have been scrapping like fools! Sometimes there is nothing better then  little scrapbook mess.

Some of the best pages have come from the greatest messes! Check out my Haiti trip so far!

More to come!

Journey to Haiti Through Pictures

While we were in Haiti one thing struck me the most that was said. Haiti is the most evangelized, yet the poorest country. That is devastation.  Where are God's people? They are there, but are they really there?

Journey to Haiti: Day Six

Day six in Haiti? I can hardly believe it. The heat is hot and our sweat is heavy, but we all are doing wonderful.

 We did some traveling today. But first we went back to the tent orphanage. Yet again, this place broke my heart into more pieces than ever before. It rained last night. As I said before, I wondered what would happen to those children. When we walked into the tent orphanage, my heart ached. All over there were mud puddles. The children had no room to play because water and mud was every where. Then, I looked under the tents where they sleep. Remember, there are no beds. They only sleep on blankets. Water was all around and the blankets were wet. I was overwhelmed with heart ache. Those poor children out in the rain under torn tarps trying to sleep. Then they look around while the water gets deeper and deeper. I know this breaks God’s heart. Then we walked over to where they were all sitting. They were singing and praising God for the day that He had made. Those children who were sleeping on the ground while it was raining actually think they have something to sing about. How humbling that is for me. I have the whole world compared to them and I still complain. But here are these sweet innocent children just thankful for the life they still have. I hope this does a work in your heart too.

Water everywhere in the tent orphanage. 

 Water all over their play area.

 Singing with a smile on their face even though they have just slept in water.

Triplets. The one on the left spilled an oil lamp on her body.

After the orphanage, we drove out to an over look to where we could see all of Haiti. How beautiful it was. The hope of restoration flooded my mind. Haiti could thrive again if the right people were in place and were committed to the vision.  To think that by you reading my blog could empower you to make a difference in Haiti is humbling. I hope this makes your heart break and want to do something about the problem.

Overlooking Haiti.

Before we went back to the house we stopped at Chadasha’s Children’s Home. Josh and I got to see our babies. How incredible to know that they will be taken care of and loved while we work through the process.  I got to see four miracles happen this week. Children being brought from almost death because of dehydration and malnourishment. Then within a couple of days with some food and love being filled with life and laughter. How awesome God is! 

 Ruth

Naomi

Journey to Haiti: Day Five

Wow what a day! We had breakfast on the beach. It was nice to see what Haiti was before the earth quake and what it could become.

We stopped at some places today to do some miscellaneous things. We went out and cleaned up some property that is going to become a children’s orphanage resort. It is right on the beach. It is an absolute beautiful piece of property. I am can’t wait to see what it is going to become.

Today Josh and I decided that God is leading us to adopt the two twins. We are going to be raising money to help us. Here is the story of the twins.

The mother has two other children. She got pregnant right before the earth quake. Her husband was killed in the earth quake. She was left to raise four children. When people found her, she was almost dead because of depression. The twins also were almost dead because they were malnourished. When we got to the guest house, the mother and the twins were staying in the room across from me. As I said in me earlier post, we wanted the twins from the beginning. The adoption was pretty much set in stone from another couple. I told Greg, the main guy of the orphanage, if the adoption fell through we would take the twins. Three days later, yesterday, he came to me and told me I must have a good prayer life because the adoption fell through.  Now, Josh and I are trusting in the Lord that the finances will come because we know this is what God has for us. We have committed to adopt them. Please pray that the finances come in. We will be doing fundraising and other things. More to come on that.

As the trip comes to an end, please pray for our team. We are all very emotionally drained and our hearts have been broken. We know God is in this place. The question now becomes: what can we do for Haiti?

Journey to Haiti: Day Four

We traveled a ways today-two hours. We passed down a road through City Soliel. In 2004-2005, it was the most dangerous road in the world! Today we went to Real Hope for Haiti. This place takes in malnourished babies and children and gets them better. Then, they return the children to their homes. They have 70 children. There are a lot of children and not a lot of workers. Real Hope for Haiti is way out of town. It took us a while to get there.

 Babies that are malnourished

 Toddlers that are malnourished

 A ten year old boy weighing 35 pounds

We stopped at a mass grave site where over 150,000 bodies have been buried. We were told that 60 trucks a day were coming in for a month full of bodies. This broke my heart. They have no idea who is buried in there. They had no choice but to just dump the bodies in there. What devastation. How many people were left without families? How many are still wondering where their family is. How many children have been left without their parents wondering where they are? People to go on with life and never have closure to their lost loved ones. Although I know what death can do to close friends and relatives, I have no idea what the magnitude of the heartache Haiti felt and still feels today.

Mass Grave

Then, we went to the beach resort. There was a lot of trash in the ocean because of the flow of the water. However, it was very beautiful. We got to spend some time worshiping God on the ocean. It was amazing. It was such a great time. How awesome it was to worship God right on the ocean.

 Josh and Kessy playing pool

Not a whole lot happened today. It was nice to be able to talk to Josh about the things we have seen and the possibilities we have.

The set of twins Josh and I fell in love with the first day, are now free for adoption. The people who were adopting them have backed out. Josh and I are praying about the possibilities that God may have put in front of us.

Journey to Haiti: Day Three

At the orphanage, Doctor Steve did a medical clinic and I held babies. One of them peed on me! Any other time I may have flipped out, but it did not even phase me. This little girl, Wilmin (unsure of spelling), grew attached to me. Frankly, I did to her. She followed me everywhere and held my hand. I held her in my arms and she held back so tight. She told an older girl, Nada, that Wilmin said she was coming home with me. Up until this point, I had been good with holding back tears. This just completely broke my heart. I would have done anything to be able to bring her back with Josh and I. I am completely convinced that nothing is worth more that I have than those children having the things they need. What that looks like for Josh and I, I’m unsure of. But I do know that God has a special place in His heart for each and every one of these children.

We brought two children back with us. I held one all the way home. We put diapers on the babies. I’m pretty sure they’ve never had diapers.

On the way home a woman was begging for food. It turns out she had a baby with her. The baby was 22 days old. This was the smallest baby I’ve ever put my eyes on. The probably weighed four pounds, and that is being generous. The mom said she wanted to give her baby up for adoption. So, we went to this woman’s house. She said it wasn’t far. It took us a long time to get there. I’m not sure how long, maybe 40 minutes. She lived in downtown Port Au Prince. She lived in a one room shack. It was only maybe 5x8 feet. The woman decided that she was not going to give the baby back tonight, but in the morning. Then, it was mentioned by someone walking by that it was not even her baby. She had taken the baby to go and beg. If that is the case, trafficking is happening amongst the native people. That breaks my heart. Someone is going back tomorrow to pick the baby up and sign papers. It is uncertain if she will be there.

As you pray, please pray for our emotional conditions. It is a lot to take in. Children are in dire need. Although they know no better, we do. They go crazy for one life saver. What does that say about us? Also, pray for yourselves. What can you do? Pray for the continuing strength of our team. While everyone is feeling fine, we still have several days to go. Thank you for your ongoing prayers.