Yield.

As many of you know, I'm the Children's Director at Fellowship Church. I started in May, just before graduation. If you would have asked me a year ago what I would be doing my answer would have been simply, "working in a public school." I had coffee with my friend Mallery last week and we talked about how our group of friends all set out to do one thing: work in a public school. What is funny is NONE of us are doing that. How wild is that? We all set out on a four year path that we felt was God's calling for our lives. Now, we are working in churches, working in christian schools, teaching in special needs schools, and teaching in other countries.

It's easy to attribute our career changes to the economy and the lack of jobs. But, I think there is more to it. God directs our steps in ways we cannot even imagine if we are willing to follow His call. It's easy to pursue what we want. But, when God tells you something different, it is not the most settling thing. In fact, it can be a very humbling experience. When you become a Christ follower, you give up your desires and work to align with God and His ways. The hard part is not knowing where you are going, what you'll be doing, and trusting God will provide.

When Jesus was calling his disciples he told them to drop everything and to follow him...everything? My reaction would not have been as the disciples. I would be asking Jesus a thousand questions. Where are we going? What will we be doing? What about my family? What will we do for food? Our house? The list goes on. Jesus simply instructed them to follow Him--no explanation.

Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? Matthew 16: 24-26 (MSG)

It's kind of like Jesus just looked at his disciples and said, "Look, I've got this. Let me lead." How would you even respond to that? Now, let's take this to our lives today. God calls us to do the same today. Is it easy? No. What about when we can't pay our bills at the end of the month if we give back to God what he deserves? Doesn't God say that he'll take care of it? In fact, I would be more afraid to not give and keep everything than to give God nothing. After all, he is the one that gave us our jobs in the first place. What about when making career choices? Do you do what you know God wants you to do, or do what you want?  Is this easy? No way! But, Jesus clearly defines following Him as letting Him lead. 

Will you let God lead and yield to his ways? 

Curve Ball.

I've been missing from the blog world for some time. In that time a lot has changed. Life has changed. I'm learning tough lessons, sometimes more than I want to learn. I've had tears. I've had joy. As a matter of fact, over the last month I've probably experienced every emotion.

As many of you know, Josh and I were not supposed to be able to have children. This was one of the many reasons we were pursuing adoption.  We went to Haiti and fell in absolute love with Ruth and Naomi. We prayed and prayed and we really felt God had laid this on our hearts. We were ready to do everything possible because we knew it would be an upward battle to bring Ruth and Naomi home. We couldn't do it alone. We were writing letters, making phone calls and then it all came to a sudden halt.

God threw us a curve ball. We had the whole crowd cheering us on and rooting for us. But, just like that it all changed. It couldn't be. Pregnant? No. It's just not possible. It just couldn't be. Us not being able to have kids was the only way to get Ruth and Naomi. Curve ball.

Pregnancy meant a lot of things. One, we could no longer get Ruth and Naomi. Two, my Haiti trip coming up can no longer be. Three, God performed a miracle.

I put these in this order because it's the way I thought of them. God performed a miracle...last. Notice anything wrong? God performed a miracle in Josh and I's life and it was the last thing on my mind. God totally showed up in our lives and it didn't phase me.

Now, don't get me wrong. We are so excited that we're having a baby. We just were not headed in this direction. God had other plans for us. This has really been giving me some grief. I've been tossing around so many questions in my mind. Why did God lay the adoption on our hearts? How does this change our future? Is this really happening? God, can this be? What is going to happen to the girls? God, are you sure you know what you are doing? Are you protecting us against rejection from the Haitian government? What is going on? Some of the questions are ridiculous, I know.

On Tuesday I had a children's event and we watched Soul Surfer. That movie was just for me. Now, I'm not saying that what is happening is a tragedy in my life. In fact, it's the opposite. "It's hard to look at things that are too close." That movie was for me. That quote gave me a new perspective. This is life right now. I have questions. No answers. I'm too close. God has thrown us a curve ball.

I'm learning that sometimes God changes directions; it's not a "rejection"...and it's not always easy.

 

Tonight I should be leaving for Haiti. But, God has changed directions. God has us here for some reason. God knows my heart to change the world. I know that someday this will become a reality. But for now, I trust that the path redirection is for my best, as my Father knows what is best for me.

Big.News.

 

That's Right! We're having a baby! 

God is so good! 

a dream

I'm not one to get worked up over dreams. In fact, I hardly ever dream at least that I can remember. Except for on Tuesday night. Have you ever had a dream that seems so real that you wake up feeling like you're still in the dream? 

What I can remember is this.

I was looking up at the sky. I was all alone in this open area, but I knew where I was. I was in Haiti. I look at the ground and I'm standing in a muddy area in the middle of this tent village. I look to my right and I see these babies lying in the mud. I instantly scoop them up and take them to grassy land. I clean them somehow and look back. When I look back, I am amazed. I see women with children just flooding to where I was. They're speaking to me, but I can't understand. I do know that they trust me because they are handing me their children left and right. I'm cleaning them up and taking them to grassy land. Doing all that I can do to keep up with all the children. Then I wake up.

When I wake up, it's like I'm still there. Half asleep, I am feeling around for the children. 

Now, like I said, I'm not one to think much of dreams.  But this one has me tore up! What does it mean? Does it mean anything? I just don't know. I go back to sleep and that's that.

I'm reading through Psalms right now. On Wednesday morning, I opened my Bible to this:  

Psalm 10:14b You won't let them down: orphans won't be orphans forever.

Hot and Sour Soup

I love dinner parties. Especially at my house. Even more, I really love people who love creative food. Let me tell you, I made some creative tofu soup. 

So here it is.

First, get your ingredients. 

Chicken Stock (64 oz)

Ginger (root or powder)

Scallions (you pick the amount)

Tofu-extra firm (1 cup or more cut in cubes)

Tomato (Roma work best...you pick how much)

Mushrooms (I love mushrooms!)

Corn (Sweet it good!)

Hot sauce (you pick how spicy)

Balsamic Vinegar (you pick how sour)

Salt and Pepper to taste

Place chicken stock in pan and heat. Add Scallions and ginger. Boil for a few minutes.

While that is boiling, thinly slice scallions in the vertical direction into long strips and place in cold water. Watch for magic! They Curl!

Back to the hot soup. Remove the scallions and ginger 

(if used root). 

Get your veggies out!

Add tofu, mushrooms, corn, hot sauce, and vinegar. Then boil. Add salt and pepper to taste. I'd say let it simmer for it about 25 minutes so the tofu can soak up all the flavor!

Get your funky table setting ready.

Garnish with those curly scallions!

You can also cook Ramen noodles and eat them on the side. Or, do what we did! Dip the noodles in the soup! 

There you go! A creative, easy, and fast way to make some soup!